Whats it like growing up, getting married, and having children???? Is it scary?

Congratulations on knowing who you are , your weaknesses and strengths, and what you want. Always listen to your gut feelings . What you write is true. Many people do not realize until too late the difficulties of raising children. You sound very intelligent. Some of your feelings you wrote above may change but right now the best thing you can do is study hard in school to get good grades, go to college ( and YES you will do well at college as you have strong ytical skills ) go into a profession which will make some money ; so that you can write, act or do the fun things you want to do in your spare time. That way you wont be a starving artist. I know its popular to say do what you love but it isnt practical.